My Eggo is Preggo: A Pregnancy Review

There Will Be Sunshine, Again

2010-05-12T09:49:00.000-07:00

It's been almost two months since I've posted ANYTHING on this blog. Most of my thoughts are neatly placed on JessicaEleven.com but I felt the need to update any readers of my pregnancy blog.

Being this is my 'first' pregnancy, I thought I'd document the happenings via a blog. That way I could come back and read this when I've popped out 4 more babies or just when I'm old and menopausal.

So technically this isn't my first pregnancy, hence the qoutations. In late 2006 my guy and I conceived after a year and a half of being together. We weren't necessarily trying, but we were ecstatic, to say the least.

During the pregnancy he had shown me a completely different side of himself. His chilvary points were skyrocketing as he offered to take me to and from work, pick me up icecream and even go to appointments with me! We were overjoyed and contacted pretty much everyone in our cell phones to notify them of the glorious feat!

After a week of making phone calls and sharing the gospel with family, friends and co-workers, I woke up one morning to a bit of spotting. I was hysterical. I called his sister, the only person I knew to have ever had a miscarriage and told her what I'd discovered. She comforted me and told me to calm down in an attempt not to make anything worsen.

I decided to go to work that day as to put my mind off my fears. A few hours into my shift I noticed I was cramping quite a bit and went to the restroom. It was there, in the retail backroom bathroom that I miscarried the embryo.

I can remember it like yesterday! There was a large clot and in disbelief I pressed it in between the tissue and my fingers. It was hard. So I knew --- it was over. I was 5 weeks.

Sobbing and covered in tears I ran to the 'floor' (retail term for front of store) and told my manager what had happened. She told me to go to the doctor to get aid. I called my guy to come pick me up and take me to the clinic.

We walked in and were seen immeadiately. The gynecologist informed me that I either passed a twin or had indeed miscarried. My instinct told me there was no twin. Once again, I knew it was over.

My guy took me home to get some rest as I cried my eyes out that day. I was in shock at the power of my own manifestation and no one was to blame. I could only pray that things would get better and that I'd have another chance to become a mother.

Eventually, I got over the loss of the pregnancy. The more research I did the more it comforted me that the 'baby' didn't have a heartbeat and really hadn't even taken a formation yet.

It was important for me to heal from that experience and I'm grateful that 3 years later I've been blessed with the opportunity to bring life onto Earth again. Although, it is still early in my pregnancy I am far enough along at 17 weeks, to be proud of this success and ready to really revel in our accomplishment!

Thank you to my wonderful, supportive family and friends who have showered me with love and well-wishes!!!

The Doctor is NOT In

2010-03-19T08:29:00.000-07:00

I've been neglecting my duties to keep myself (and any readers) up-to-date on the happenings on my pregnancy adventure. I thought it was a bit more necessary to live in the moment, soak up the sun and enjoy every nauseous, head ached, insomniac-filled minute.

I've taken more time to meditate and connect with my growing fetus which has brought me to want to write this post... I got to wondering: How many women intuitively live their pregnancies?

I'm talking full out intuitive! Go without the ultrasound and their uncertain long term effects and use their maternal intuition to 'know' the sex and well-being of their child. I'm talking birthing your baby in the comfort of your home because you rather not deal with the negative energies looming throughout the hospital. I'm talking surrendering to the Goddess within and not the mandates of the obstetrician.

Why have we succumbed to technology? How is it an electrical instrument can tell us something that we don't 'know'? Where are the women and families who are doing this pregnancy and birthing thing the natural way?

My cousin has found the answer. She called me yesterday evening, knowing my desire for wanting to enjoy pregnancy in the most back-to-basics sort of way she enlightened me to this wonderful site called Womb Shamans. On the site you will find beautiful Queens and Goddesses of all colors, creeds and walks of life loving, anointing and energizing their wombs all over the globe.

I was particularly inspired by one woman who took it upon herself, regardless of the "high risk pregnancy" label she was given, to birth her baby naturally, in her own bathtub! How incredible! How inspirational! I love it!!

So, that brings me back to my original thoughts of pregnancy -- Who is doing it naturally and not worrying about here say?

I KNOW I am!

Comments, questions, high-fives? I wanna hear people's thoughts on this. And be sure to check out Womb Shamans to experience the beauty that lies within us all.

Will You be Having Cheese with That Whine?

2010-02-28T12:55:00.001-08:00

"You REALLY do love me, don't you," I cry with deep unnecessary emotion.

I've turned into a babbling, bubbling brook of tears, fears and excessive phone calls. Who knew that a woman once so independent, composed and somewhat reserved could become even Elmyra's worst nightmare in just a few short weeks.

Pregnancy hormones are at their multiplying peak in the first 14 weeks a.k.a the first trimester. HCG levels doubling every two days is enough to send anyone into a stirred-up OVER hormonal frenzy.

Just to test the water works I popped in The Notebook, a bonafide pre-pregnancy tear jerker. By the end of the movie the front of my shirt was soaked and I was phoning my Guy during his work hours, I guess to see if we could be like the characters in the movie -- dying old, together and memory-lossed.

One day I made it a point to let him know just how much I 'needed' him and phoned at least 5 times in a one hour period. "I miss you", "What cha doin?", "How's your day?", "Is work ok?".

I was getting on my OWN nerves. I couldn't believe it, I was so annoying! And didn't know how to stop it. Oh, and please don't try to get me off your back, because at the first sign of disappointment I was a sobbing little girl.

Luckily, within a week my hormones had settled down a bit and I could return back to the usual one call a day (now he's calling me more LOL!) but who would've known.

The thing about these hormones is it's NOT all in your mind. The mood swings, the excessive neediness, the whatever.. Now I can say that eating a balanced diet will help regulate the extremeness but the fluctuations? I don't think so.

So it's been a week since my last hormonal overhaul, I've been feeling good (minus the silly illness I just overcame - more about that in a later post). Although I did have a total meltdown at work last week (the day before I got sick, actually - hmm I wonder if there's any relation.. could be, could be) but you try working with 18 overly stimulated, excessively sugared, in one ear and out the other, well-misbehaved children. You'd be crying too!

But my Guy has redeemed himself from the week before (he really thought I was mental) and has gone out of his way (just a little) to take me to the doc to make sure the 100degree temp I had wasn't frying baby. In an attempt to win more brownie points he brought me home-made bean soup from his Mom's kitchen and even offered to pick me up a pickle or two!

Ah, the perks. But no, I think I'll pass on the whine for this week, who knows, maybe later.

More Pickles, Please!

2010-02-28T10:05:00.000-08:00

So this is pregnancy, huh? I'm a tad bit confused. I mean, really, do I have to smell EVERYTHING? Do I have to be starving yet NOTHING sounds yummy except for pickles? Do I have to be sick with a mild fever but it suddenly turns into a runny and stuffy nose, stomach virus and acute tonsillitis? REALLY?

Well, not that I'm complaining because trust me, I'm NOT!

I enjoy this, I think. Granted it's only been 7 weeks, as of today! Ya for me and baby.. I just can't believe this is "Normal".

As a wanna be doula -- you can check out the story on my full-time blog, I live for this. I absolutely LOVE pregnant women: their glow, their bellies, their ability to let go and let God. Because that's exactly what pregnancy is -- you HAVE to let go and let God completely take it from here!

I wasn't really expecting this, but I did sign up for this. After all I am of the X chromosome genome so this is my "job" isn't it?

I know some women would beg to differ, but the way I see it, if I weren't put on this earth to procreate, I could've simply reincarnated with a phallus!! Or maybe some A-sexual sort of creature.

I'm not sure if I was fortunate enough to experience motherhood in previous lifetimes, but something tells me that I was -- I'm intuitive, nurturing, I love children. But this go-round I wasn't certain if I'd get to experience this phenomena.

In my teens I ranted about not wanting children. I boasted about how alien-like pregnancy seemed; all in an effort to disguise my desire to be one with the alien nation. There was nothing anyone could say to make me think it was gonna happen to me.

Well that was several years ago and Thank God people grow up!

Now that I'm an older, maturer, somewhat wiser 27 year old kid I feel ready for this challenge. I've been a vegetarian for over 5 years (and I'm going raw eventually), I started exercising almost daily two years ago (but gave it up due to relocation after relocation after relocation after... you get the hint), I have money in savings (not thousands but getting there!) and I'm finally solidifying long-term career goals (or at least the general direction).

So all-in-all, I'd say I'M READY! Right?

WRONG!

No one's really ever ready. Not unless their multi-million dollar heiresses and even then no one could possibly fathom parenthood unless they just were extremely empathic.

But I'm not worried, I'm preparing. And my Lover isn't worried, he's go-getting.

With 220 something days ahead of pure pregnancy bliss I can only take it one day at a time and pray for the best and do what I know is best. Because this is gonna be quite the journey!

Suggestions? Comments? ANY Advice? I'm all ears!

Bun in Whose Oven?

2010-02-28T07:58:00.000-08:00

Two days after turning 27 I peed on the infamous stick and found out I had a little one rising in my very own oven. WOW!? I thought. Completely ecstatic, I let the new found news marinate in my head for about 24hrs before spilling the beans to any family and friends and even my lover!

I know some women have several numbers on speed dial for when that ostentatious moment does occur, but I'm not most women -- I wanted to check with Jessica (that would be me, Thank you) before I leaked the biz. That very next morning I called my mother to tell her what I'd discovered. Trying to see if she would guess; her motherly instinct must have been napping that morning. Upon telling her the news she was excited and joyous but in her overly motherly anal ways instructed me to get a blood test just to double-check.

The thing about pregnancy is it's completely intuitive, if you learn to listen to your body you don't even need a HPT to tell you what you already knew! In an effort to let her be right I complied and proceeded to call my sister next. My sis and I chatted it up for a bit until she asked me what I got for my birthday. I exclaimed, "A POSITIVE PREGNANCY TEST!!!"

She yelled in excitement and said, "I so wasn't expecting you to say that!" I had to laugh out loud at that one because it was just perfect timing!

We dwelled on the fact that a little Jess or little Nick was forming inside me and then disconnected the line. I then called my really close friend, Becki, who is currently experiencing the joys of motherhood. I've always admired her tenacity and will. She's such a wonderful role model and I look up to her. I told her the news and she, too, yelled in excitement.

We "girl-talked" for about an hour and I decided to get some rest. I couldn't believe how exhausting relaying the message would be or maybe it's just the first trimester fatigue.

I then realized I had to wait until I would see my Lover to tell him what I'd discovered. Millions of scenarios bounced in my head, I just didn't know how to tell such life-changing news. Granted we've been together for nearly five years, I just didn't know how to customize it. I even googled some suggestions. I mean, I wanted it to be cute, even thoughtful and sincere but definitely not trite!

Oh what's a girl to do?

So that afternoon my Guy was taking me out for my birthday weekend, I thought I'd tell him sometime during the date. I dropped hints all afternoon, "Oh I've been getting these headaches. I never get headaches". And, "Geesh, I've got to go to the restroom again!?"

WELL, let's just say, men don't get hints very well. He was totally clueless.

In between lunch and the movie we went to a neighborhood psychic. "Perfect!" I thought. Surely she's be able to pick up on something. Sure enough she picked up on the headaches and stomach issues (which I'm experiencing full-on as I type this), but she didn't say anything about baby.

So I figured I'd just have to tell this man myself. Later that evening, he dropped me off at a friend's house. About 4 minutes after leaving he called me. I guess he 'knew' something was up.

I could sense that my curious behavior earlier that day had made him question. So in an effort to put him, and myself out of my 'can't keep a secret about myself misery' I told him!

He couldn't believe it! I wish I would've seen him in person, I'm sure his jaw was on the floor of brand new luxury vehicle thinking about the added financial (among others) responsibility, but I know there was a smirk of happiness forming soon after. We talked for a bit and I reassured him, "No worries. It's best to take it one day at a time -- we'd figure out all the details of parenting in due time."